The Road to Ithaka

I was recently deeply impacted by the latest rendition of Homer’s The Odyssey, directed by the amazing Christopher Nolan.

Let it be known, I am not a movie critic or analyst oriented towards finding what’s wrong or missing in a movie. I see it as it is. And, to me, this movie was one of the best movies I have seen, which allowed the stories and messages to come through very clearly.

I have been reflecting on these stories quite a bit in relation to my own life. Some of the major themes that resonated with me were the obvious journey and exploration guided by cleverness, hubris, curiosity, and integrity, as well as the journey towards right relationship, Love, and self-actualization.

I also need to say that life is full of journeys within journeys and that perhaps there isn’t one Ithaka. I think that is why it’s important to take note that this journey back home took approximately 10 years.

I look at the last 10 years of my life and see quite the journey within that to being here, at home, more times than not, in my heart and body. But it certainly wasn’t always like that. Far from it.

I see myself at age 19 thinking I knew it all and was the wisest of them all. I don’t think I had the capacity to hear another’s perspective unless I deemed them wiser than I, as if teachers are only those with a platform.

I felt like I had a lot of life under my belt. I had a hubris, like I could navigate any situation, get my way over anybody (if I didn’t, deciding I didn’t want it), and skate my way through life knowing people liked me and I had luck like no other. Boy, was my thinking so small and narrow, despite all the experimenting I had already done with my consciousness through meditation, breathwork, and mind-expanding substances.

To me, my Trojan War was the constant battle happening within my mind. And eventually, I thought I had won. I had found clever ways to stay within an illusion—intentionally maintaining distance from others emotionally and physically, distracting myself with exogenous things, and keeping myself numb. The battle had quieted, and I mistook that quiet for victory.

I was deceived… by myself. The war was over. Until the worst day of my life shattered all the strategies I had developed: the day I answered a phone call telling me my mom was dead. That was the day my journey home, to Ithaka, started.

This was the major impetus for leaving the only place I had ever known and embarking on my journey to the West Coast. On this journey, I faced monsters, terrifying energies and visuals, temptresses, consequences due to a lack of awareness, messages from the underworld, and uncountable uncomfortable moments requiring me to shed who I thought I was and step into the man I wanted to be.

In ways, I got lost out at sea in my psyche, a glutton for self-centered pleasure… addicted to distraction through substances, eating, work, loneliness, social connection, self-improvement, transcendence, depression, and limiting and distorted thoughts and beliefs that kept me disconnected from my truth and power.

I don’t think I pissed any of the gods off like Odysseus did, but I did come into contact with beings and situations that stirred things in my soul that I needed to work on, which would prove conducive to more harmonious and meaningful relationships later on. Everything became a teacher. Every situation, an opportunity for learning about myself.

Embracing life in that way changed everything. This shift included all things as important to my becoming. I came to believe the universe was transpiring with me, for me to become more fully me.

Every experience led me closer to living in the wisdom of my heart. Despite these 10 years going nothing at all like I planned, with a lot of suffering and discomfort involved, I wouldn’t imagine any better way to have developed this connection to my heart, this connection to Home—something beyond what words can describe.

What I allude to is beyond stratagem, cleverness, intellect. It is refined, heart-ful action. This particular road to Ithaka has been a long one, full of adventure, full of discovery. In hindsight, there is nothing I would want to have changed. It all contributed to me getting here, at a place I’m really proud to be.

However, now that I have arrived here, a new journey begins, with new creatures, entities, challenges, and opportunities. And having now recognized the shape of this journey once before, I know I will have more. This time, with more knowledge, understanding, and connection to Home.

With this level of awareness, the levels of challenge may increase with it. But I have built a foundation of trust, acceptance, and resourcefulness. I know I have the capacity to continue falling into the wisdom of my heart. It is going to be okay, likely better than okay.

So be bold. Experience as much of life as you can. Learn and go on learning.

You’ll eventually arrive at Ithaka again and again, always richer.

Practice

Here are some journal prompts to sit with.

Can you recall a major event or a time in your life that sent you on a journey home? Do you sense that you arrived home after being lost? What did arriving home feel like?

You are the hero of your mythical storyline. Can you recall a time when you faced a monster, a challenge, or a confusing moment or series of moments? How did you navigate it, and what did you learn through that situation?

What does Ithaka mean to you? What does it mean to be on a journey home? What is Home?

Answer as spontaneously as you can. It is possible some answers might surprise you. It is possible some may come with resistance or defensiveness. No need to fight yourself. If it comes up, write it down and know that you have time for it to gestate and evolve.

To complete today’s article, read the following aloud or silently to yourself.

May I have the courage to let my curiosity lead me into unknown territory.

May I have the understanding that life is happening for me, not against me.

May I have the space to experience life fully.

May I move through this world open and receptive to its teachings about myself.

May I remember that everything will be okay and that I will return home again and again.

And so it is.