Learning to Be Comfortable in Your Body

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how uncomfortable I used to feel in my body… almost all the time, particularly in high school.

There was this sense of unease that was just always present. I didn’t understand it at all, and I hardly ever questioned it. I just remember thinking it was normal — what it’s like to exist in a body as a human.

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Reflecting back on it now, I can clearly see the strategies I developed for feeling more comfortable, using what was available to me based on what I observed within my immediate culture.

I used external things to escape it.

I didn’t conceptualize it this way then, but substances, chasing girls, and sports became the escape from that discomfort. They helped me feel free of the constant unease so that what I didn’t understand would vanish from my awareness and I could just be.

At the time, I had no framework for what I was experiencing. I didn’t know that what I was feeling were simply sensations in the body asking for awareness, or emotions demanding to be felt and processed. I didn’t know that discomfort could actually be incredibly valuable information from the body for my conscious awareness to work with.

How could anybody know that without proper education?

I just knew I wanted to feel better, and there was an immediate way to do that.

Looking back now, that time in my life feels very far away and almost foreign.

I see how much anxiety I was holding, how much sadness I was holding, how much stress, how much weight. How much fear. How much shame. How much… everything.

I am so grateful to be able to compare then to now and see how far I have come.

My experience in my body nowadays is one of comfort, ease, and even pleasure. And when discomfort arises — which it still does quite often — I no longer see it as something to run from.

Instead, I move toward it with curiosity, compassion, and Love.

This shift is simple to say, but it takes years of consistency to make happen. And it is subtle, nearly invisible.

What happens now is that when discomfort arises, I take notice, bring my awareness directly to it, and listen deeply. I notice the sensations. I stay with them. I let a process unfold and try to force nothing.

More often than not, something happens when I do this. Sometimes, nothing happens. Even this is valuable.

If you’ve sat in meditation long enough, you may know that sensations come and go like clouds in the sky. And there are ways we humans resist feeling that actually stop the clouds from passing.

With loving awareness, there is subsequent softening. From softening comes movement and flow. We are less resistant or in conflict with that which we know, understand, and have some level of intimacy with.

This way of relating to the body changes everything.

If I had to point to the three things that have helped me become more comfortable in my body, they would be these:

1. Learn yourself

The journey inward is endless. There is always more unfolding to see, to understand, to integrate. And that which you’ve seen before may need to be seen again and again. That which you don’t see is equally, or more, important to study and bring into your awareness.

The more honestly you learn yourself — your wounds, your emotions, your feelings, your patterns, your fears, your defenses, your longings — the less those things unconsciously run your life.

The more you understand yourself, the more able you are to be comfortably in your body and equipped to be with discomfort when it is present.

2. Be radically honest with yourself

Radical honesty is one of the most powerful practices there is.

And one of the most excruciating.

The place to start is with yourself.

This is where we begin building our sense of “my truth,” which is a phrase that can sometimes be misused by people who are, I think, at least trying.

I have compassion for that process because I see my own journey as a series of trials and tribulations while learning about my truth. It tends to require experimenting and trying things — applying something like the scientific method to your own life.

Try asking yourself more often:

“What is my truth right now, and is it in harmony with what is happening?”

What I mean when I say being radically truthful with yourself is admitting your anger, your sadness, your pain — the things people often don’t want to fully acknowledge, usually because they are minimizing those feelings.

“I’m not as bad off as some or most people.” or “I’m not an angry person”.

That doesn’t matter.

The body doesn’t know the difference. Feelings are impartial to your story.

You are human and humans experience all emotions, no matter how hard you resist or repress them. Please, trust me on this.

Your truth is a doorway to freedom. But it isn’t always that simple. It must be tested relationally.

If your “truth” is destructive, offensive, or hurtful to others, it may not actually be your deeper truth. It may be a younger part of you whose truth is underdeveloped or maladapted.

Continue returning to honesty with yourself about yourself. It is a practice that is incredibly challenging, but even more rewarding.

Be willing to see what is actually there inside of you without immediately trying to fix it, justify it, or resist it.

The sooner you are willing to consciously aspire towards truth again and again and again, the farther and faster you will move along your path.

3. Practice presence

Presence is Love, and Love is presence.

At first, presence is something we practice formally — meditation, breathwork, yoga, sitting quietly with ourselves.

But over time, that presence begins to bleed into the rest of life.

Into relationships.

Work.

Conflict.

Pleasure.

Discomfort.

The most ordinary moments of your day.

And the deeper that presence becomes, the more the body begins to feel like home.

What I have observed is that many of us weren’t taught how to live in our bodies.

And I believe being in the body is a huge part of why we are here. How else do we explain these beautifully complex and bewildering forms — with all these sensations and nerves and energy centers and… just wow.

The body is the fruit of billions of years of evolution. It is not something to disown. It is something to deeply honor, revere, and be in Love with, just like all things.

The mind is in the body too, so there is no need to disown that part of ourselves either. However, the mind has the capability to take us very far away from the here and now.

The body is always here, experiencing the present.

If you want to know what it means to be present, learn from the body.

And like I say often, the ultimate goal is freedom — and freedom lies within.

For most of us, this presence doesn’t just happen. It takes earnest practice on a regular basis.

Learning to stay here — with what is real and alive — might be one of the most important things we ever learn. It may be the path that allows us to experience the most of life while we are here on Earth.

Let me close by reiterating this:

Learning to live comfortably in your body is not something that happens overnight. It takes years of practice, patience, experimenting, and a willingness to turn toward things we may have spent a lifetime avoiding.

But the reward is immense — greater than you can even imagine.

The more at home you become in your body, the more your life unfolds in ways you dreamed of or wished for.

Life doesn’t necessarily become easier, but it becomes more yours — something you can meet and shape with greater awareness and choice, even in difficult times.

If this reflection resonates with you and you feel a desire to explore this kind of inner work more deeply, I offer several ways to do that — including 1:1 sessions, structured shadow work programs, flexible containers that can meet you within your schedule, and breathwork experiences.

You can learn more at:

moonmountainhealing.com

And if you’d like to stay connected with my ongoing reflections and offerings, you can also follow along here:

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I’m grateful you took the time to read this.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jacob

Moon Mountain Healing